Fiction

I have nothing against people who read.

In fact, I helped write two New York Times #1 Best Sellers, America (The Book) and Earth (The Book), and then wrote the middle-grade novel The Amazing Beef Squad: Never Say Die!, which Delacorte Press published in 2021.

It’s the story of four best friends who just want to have a good time, but events force them into saving their whole town from a conspiracy that goes all the way back to the Gold Rush.

  • “Juvenile Delinquency has never been so fun!!! Jason Ross shows you can never go wrong with friends, gumption and high velocity hydro-bombings.”

    Jon Stewart

  • “Triumphant!… A well-buffed debut novel.”

    Kirkus Reviews

  • “This is not a novel. It is a confession. A very, very funny one.”

    Josh Lieb

    Author, I Am a Genius of Unspeakable Evil, and I Want to Be Your Class President

  • “Fast-paced, hilarious and full of heart. I loved this novel!”

    Leslie Margolis

    Author, Ghosted

  • "THE AMAZING BEEF SQUAD is a Mission: Impossible for adolescents — funny, surprising, exciting, and insanely fun."

    Elliott Kalan

    Author, Marvel’s Spider-Man & The X-Men

Excerpt

To look at Pratchett, you wouldn’t think he’s strong. 

Legs like breadsticks. Arms like the rolled baloney his mom packs in his lunch every school day. His neck juts forward so when he runs through Birdwell Park he looks like a demented turkey. He does not appear to represent MVP material, is what I’m saying. But for reasons none of the PE teachers at Lyndon B. Johnson Middle School can figure out, Pratchett’s left arm is a Gettysburg cannon.

I mean, our friend throws heat. 

That’s how Hogue ended up squirming on the grass late on a cloudy Monday afternoon in April, clutching his most sensitive parts. 

“I’m sorry!” Pratchett shouted, his own hands clamped down in the dark bramble of his hair. “I didn’t think it would work!” 

“What wouldn’t work—the ball?” Hogue hissed, glaring at the softball at his side. He held on to his valuables as if someone were coming to steal them. 

Stupidball games always ended badly. 

Previous

Drama
Next

Political Messaging